Rings

At this moment, I feel completely cold inside. Totally and utterly cold, and there is a flicker of 'pissed off' and 'blood-thirsty' that is trying to mix in red and yellow into this cold blue center of me. But it is not working....okay, maybe it is now.
      I have a Water Aerobics class. I get to the pool locker room with about 24 others girls, and we change into our swimsuits and we put our shit in our lockers, and we go out and swim. FUN, FUN, FUN. The other girls know I'm new, they have their cliques and friends, and I'm fine with that. I don't care, I just want to go to school, graduate, and go to another school, then become a doctor. So, on Wednesday, I changed into my swimsuit, and knowing that we were doing a long swimming test, removed my rings and put them in my small pocket of my back pack, zipped and sealed it. My rings, are my; wedding band, engagement rings (a 3 carat green amethyst and diamond ring), a Celtic thumb ring I had forever... and my father's wedding band. A small gold band that he married my mom with, the one thing my mother gave me after he died.
         I came back to the locker room, thought ("Ill put them on later, after I shower at home") changed, went to the Wellness Center to take care of some shiz, and went home. As soon as I went home, Van and I took a nap, I woke up around 7, went to the gym, came home, showered, and didn't put my rings on because I got distracted by Van being awesome and watching movies with me. Today, I got up, went to the gym, and didn't realize they weren't on me till I got home. So, then I got worried, and rushed to my backpack to fish them out and put them on ASAP. I fished around for a minute, couldn't find them, and since I had Leanne over, thought i'd just look for them later. And I did. I came home from hanging out, and they aren't in my backpack. I emptied the entire thing, shook it out, and they're gone.
      It's not the fucking diamond ring, or my wedding band. It's my father's ring I want back. I feel like the world and everyting that is godly took him away from me in 2007. They took him away and then my mom went crazy and she went away, and I didn't get anything of his until she gave me that one afternoon. Then everything changed, and I was left with Taco, and that ring. Taco is going to die one day, but I'd still have that ring, something to always have of my father's, and I don't have it anymore. And it makes me so angry that someone would do that. Like, you don't know what that meant to me. It was probably just some shitty godl ring to you, but to me it was him, always on me, keeping me safe, reminding me.
    I don't know who you are, bitch, but I hate you. I'm not going to forgive you, or be your friend, I hate you. You can keep my fucking diamond rings, but just give me that one back. I hate how this school preached all about being safe and protected, and we're all a sisterhood.... fuck, I don't want to be sisters with people like that. I already have my own sisters, and we stopped stealing from each other at 13. The fact of the matter is, Peace is letting trashy people in. It has nothing to do with class or race, because I know beautifully talented and intelligent black women go there, and really stupid, arrogant white women that go there - it's about letting people with low morals and dirty souls in. People say I have no respect for others.... I would never steal from someone. It's disgusting.
And right now, I just want my daddy.
.... and I want to find that bitch. Or bitches.