x(3=5y) = minimum wage

This is my nightmare, all over again.
In one room, they tell me that my skills and talents are unlike anyone they've seen in quite a while. My intuition combine with my visionary eye can place color and strokes and design templates where others cannot. My ear picks up musical tones that are normally not found very well. My memory is long and unbelievably strong, because I remember facts, dates, and places when most people forget them easily.
Then, in another room, I'm lost.
I'm in a dark room, with no light, bumping into walls. I hear voices telling me to go one way, but I cannot seem to get there. They show me a map to get out, but I can't follow it, because I just don't understand it. And when I see others follow it so well, I get so angry and depressed, because I never will understand it.
So this is where I am again. Again. Again, and AGAIN.
School.
In one room, Art - where the professor takes me into her office after only 2 weeks of school and tells me I'm gifted. Teachers in art have been pulling me into their offices for years to tell me that. It's nice.
In the other room, Math - where they show an example to solve a style of an equation, but then present me with one to try on my own, and I just can't do it. It makes no sense to me.
It isn't just the, "I'm not a Math person" thing. It's deeper and a lot uglier than that. It was me as a kid throwing up before math class because I was so nervous. It was having to leave the room because i was about to cry. It was then crying when I got a test back with big red marks all over it, an the number "22" at the top. 22...out of a possible 100. It was teachers, figures of patience, literally saying, "You may have a disability. I can't help you." It's being 23, and still not done with a Bachelor's, because of failing 3 math classes in a row at HCC.
it's being almost 24, and not being able to pass this one.
I hate myself. I hate how little it makes me feel. I hate how angry it makes me, that I can be so strong in one thing, but not the other. I have friends who are artistic, musical, and literary. And they were able to do just fine in math. They were never quite A+ students, but they weren't F ones either. They passed, they did fine. So what is wrong with me? What is my problem, why can't I get it at all? maybe I really am just stupid. Maybe I really should just drop out of school, because I will never, ever understand this. Maybe, despite all of my dreams to help others through art, to be the first one in my family to have a degree, I should just drop out. Maybe I'm not meant to have a degree, maybe I just don't deserve one.
Maybe I'll always be a loser, and a piece of shit that no one really cares about.
I sound so pathetic and emo, but it's how I feel.
I have no one in the world who really give a fuck about me, I'm at the point where I don't even give a fuck about me. I constantly feel ugly and stupid, and I'm just over it.